A Pansexual in a Homophobic family

 Hey everyone,

So this entire thing was created on a sudden note, so I don't even know what I am doing.

The only thing that I know is, I wanted to share my experiences of growing up as a part of the LGBTQ community, when my family and all the people around me are, to put it lightly, extremely bigoted. even today I got in a fight with my mom about people's sexualities.

so let me begin from the first,

(Christ, it sounds like I am going to narrate an extremely sad tale. Please believe me, it's nothing like that. This is just a post where I want people like me to feel comfortable with themselves, as they are)

Truth be told, I, myself are not even fully educated on all the parts and everything about the LGBTQ community. There is just so much to learn, and every time I learn something, it makes me feel so happy and accomplished. 

So why don't we do something like this.. every time I learn something new,  am gonna come and narrate my experience here and we all can discuss it together.

This is how it's gonna work right?? 

(Man...i don't know anything about blogging)

So as I was saying before I got sidetracked

I am a 17 years girl, living in a small town in India. My pronouns are she/they, and most of the time I am extremely confused about my sexuality, but for now, I wanna label myself as Panromantic-demisexual. Everyone here can call me 'Mel'

As I mentioned before, my entire family is extremely homophobic, and growing up with them has been an experience, lol. 

Where my mom thinks that being anything other than straight is a mental illness that can only be cured through a thorough beating (classic Indian mom mindset here), my dad thinks that LGBTQ people are not normal and will never be blessed and accepted by God, nada nada..

I remember, when homosexuality was decriminalized in our country (i.e, when the section 377 verdict was given), my entire family had sat down together, like some round-table conference to discuss how this was one of the worst decisions the Supreme court had taken, and how badly it was gonna affect the people.

(When I had tried to protest, all of them had looked at me with googly eyes, demanding what i was on to say such an 'unholy' thing.)

But....

That didn't stop me from falling for one of my classmates, though that's a story for another time. 

(the story will be something like 200k, slow burn, unrequited love, sad ending lol)

So yeah, this is basically the environment I have grown up in, and I believe this is how most of us LGBTQ people here in India grow up as, at least around our place.

I just wanted to say, that whatever your sexuality is, you are loved and so so valid. I wish someone had told me this when I was exploring myself in the beginning. The generation that our parents are, had grown up in an extremely conservative society and many of their beliefs are tainted by the views that were taught to them, and I believe it is our duty to change those views.

And if they don't agree then it's none of our fault. Truly, we are not responsible for what the people around us believe in. Maybe someday they will accept us for what we are, but till then I just want everyone to remember that they are valid and loved despite what the bigoted mindsets around them tell.

No matter what your sexuality or your pronouns are. Or if you are still confused about where you stand, and where you don't, just so you know that I am proud of you for coming so far. For making it till now.

Keep exploring, Keep learning, and respect and love everyone around you.

let's live and love together, as we go on in our journey.

Closing off for now,

-mel